Let's be reasonable with one another, shall we?

Thursday, April 17, 2008

The Tailor's Measurements

A very successful man (I can’t remember who right now) once said that the person who best deals with him is… his tailor. He went on to explain that the reason he appreciated his tailor so much was that every time he dealt with the tailor, the tailor would take his measurements afresh and make his clothes according to his present shape. This man found that some people in his relationship did not keep so current with the changes that he underwent personally. They would treat him from year to year as though he never changed or grew, as though he were exactly the same as he ever was.

We should always keep in mind that people grow and change. Problems need not be perceived as permanent. Particular sins can be put out and overcome. This is especially true of those who have the Problem Solver in their lives, as they walk with Him.

Children are a great example. They give people a new chance every time they meet them. They check each other out anew every time they come together. Each new school year in the primary grades can be a new chance to make friends they didn’t have the year before. They don’t hold grudges and they don’t retain bitterness based on taking up others’ offenses. They take each other’s measurements often and adjust accordingly. We should too! We should hope that trouble between people can be overcome as it rightly should be!

Problems are not permanent.
I can think of a woman that wronged this mother I know. It was a gossip issue regarding her son that happened last year. It was very hurtful to the mother - you know how protective we mothers can be over our children. I haven’t seen the one who perpetrated the wrong since that time. I may not see her for another year or two. Actually, I don’t see either of them very much at all – neither is a close friend. Let’s say I run into the doer of this wrong 2 years from now. Should I hold it against her about the gossip incident? How would I know if the mother forgave her or not? Perhaps they worked it out. I might be ignorant of the details of this relationship between these ladies. For me to scorn this lady just because of something I heard two years ago would be inane. For starters, I never had her explanation of what happened in the first place. More importantly, people change! For all I know she repented, confessed her fault to the mother, they reconciled and they were now friends. Really, when we take up others’ offenses, this is the conundrum that we potentially face.

People change and things often get resolved. Actually, if we try to handle offenses in the Lord’s way, things do often get resolved and it is for the glory of God. May I and mine be mindful of this. Problems are not permanent. God is growing us. Shame on us when we try to fit people with last years’ clothes.

16 Comments:

  • Hi, Rose. These are good thoughts. We should always be willing to take the high road and give others the benefit of the doubt.

    I posted something along these lines myself this week.

    God bless.

    By Anonymous Gordon Cloud, at 4/18/2008 12:57 AM  

  • It's hard to do, but I basically agree with you.

    I especially liked the comment about not taking up the offenses of others. Yeah, when I'm frumpy at somebody I try real hard to make sure I'm good'n'frumpy for my own reasons :-). Strict adherence to this policy has caused some clashing in my marriage from time-to-time because I don't take her side of an argument with someone else "just because she's my wife." No, I had to seek an understanding of the issue myself and only then would I take a side, and I didn't always land where my wife wanted me. Ah, but it helped keep our relationship founded on honesty and that, in the long run, has helped much more than the short lived and occasional disagreement.

    Lights out in KC,
    Stephen

    By Blogger knetknight, at 4/18/2008 1:11 AM  

  • Working in drug treatment, I have come to see how people through making bac choices can end up getting into terrible problems through drug addiction.

    Yet these people just get written off by others and regarded as scum, not worthy of sympathy or understanding.

    People do change.

    Every Blessing in Christ

    Matthew

    By Blogger Dyspraxic Fundamentalist, at 4/18/2008 7:19 AM  

  • Thank you, Gordon. I will check out your post.

    Knetknight - It is hard to agree with me... or it is hard to take measurements? I think you mean the latter. What do you call it when someone hears a little bit of gossip and years later can't let go of the impression he got from the gossip and has it in the forefront of his mind in regards to the person about whom he heard the gossip? In fact, in a very slanderous way he even repeats the old old gossip. It reminds me of a high school girl.

    DF,
    I am glad that you are working with these people. May God use you as he has given you such wisdom in regards to their situation. You are there for something good. I pray for you.

    By Blogger Rose~, at 4/18/2008 11:01 AM  

  • Mornin' Rose,

    "It is hard to agree with me... or it is hard to take measurements?"

    LOL. I definitely meant the latter.

    Yes, people change, and especially Christians should be willing to show the grace to allow for it. We have a friend who repeatedly makes the same kind of bad choice -- a series of guys who are nice to her, get "what they want", then basically dump her when she, understandably, wants stability and more of a commitment and starts to nest. If memory serves me right she's got three kids from three guys. One of the kids, a teenage daughter, was raped by one of her guys. She claims to be a Christian, and fundamentally I don't doubt her. We have tried to help her break the cycle, but it's hard to continually measure her anew when time after time, year after year, she says "I understand and agree", makes seeming progress, then disappears for a few months and, bam, she's back with the same old sob story. We genuinely care for this woman and I agree we should measure her again but, especially after the terrible incident with her daughter ('specially now that I'm a parent myself) it's increasingly hard because the consequence of her bad decisions affect increasingly more people.

    "What do you call it when..."

    Sounds like a grudge to me.

    If I measure each man anew does that make me a "ruler" of men?
    Stephen

    By Blogger knetknight, at 4/18/2008 11:36 AM  

  • Rose,

    These are very penetrating words you use. I wish to know a little bit of the psychology behind this latest of posts of yours. What, in particular, has instpired you to write this?

    I'll tell you what. The conviction that people can change is one of the strongest motivations for me to live my life.

    "I can change!"

    God is in the business of changing lives.

    Prayer:

    God, I am not a shadow of the man I wish to be. Through your grace and power and for the glory of your Name, change me, mold me, shape me. Make me like Jesus.

    Conclusion:

    Life is not worth the living if you aren't changing.

    I hate my sin. I hate it. I hate me when I sin.

    Your free grace brother,

    Antonio

    By Blogger Antonio, at 4/18/2008 9:38 PM  

  • So important. The potential is always there. Precious stuff. God's power, especially, is always there waiting to amaze us by tranforming the weak.

    By Blogger Todd, at 4/18/2008 9:39 PM  

  • I'm sure the measurements that tailor made were not considered an improvement. :) But - I personally benefit most from the changes that make what is strong weak. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

    Would throwing out prior judgements mean to throw out the "good" ones, too? And can't some problems be permanent? I might be missing your point, but maybe your thinking of something specific and I am thinking in generalities.

    By Blogger Another Voice, at 4/18/2008 11:12 PM  

  • Oh... and good evening, Rose. :)

    By Blogger Another Voice, at 4/18/2008 11:13 PM  

  • I recently went from a 36 to 34 inch waist. I need to be re-evaluated by ya'll!

    By Blogger Antonio, at 4/19/2008 4:39 PM  

  • Hello Rose - Love the analogy!

    By Blogger Jon Lee, at 4/20/2008 12:00 AM  

  • OOPS, John was still logged in from this morning.

    Knetknight - rule them well and fairly.

    Antonio,
    The psychology behind the post? I was pondering a situation where a person is spreading false gossip much in the way I mention in the second to last paragraph. Then I broadened my conclusions out to apply to more areas of life.

    Todd,
    Thank you. Your visits are much appreciated. I tried to listen to your newer hymns but my computer would not play anything. I think I need an update or something. Don't delete them OKAY? :~)

    Hi Missy!
    Yeah, that was the flip side. I was trying to look at the positive side of this - you know - that maybe we "shape up." I know all too well though that if I had a tailor, he would have been adding fabric several times over the last ten years to my clothes! Then again, I have lost 20 pounds in the last year, so he could take them in again. :~)
    Yes, of course, some problems are permanent. I was thinking of the solvable ones, this time, however.

    Good to see you Missy!

    By Blogger Rose~, at 4/21/2008 1:51 PM  

  • "and it is for the glory of God." Exactly! Great post, Rose.

    By Blogger Jonathan Moorhead, at 4/22/2008 2:28 PM  

  • Hello Rose, been a while since I stopped in and when I do what a blessing I am served. If only we could remember that God is working on each of us at His pace, we might be able to entrust to Him the flaws as well as the changes in others. It's an odd irony that we pray for folks to change and then when we've gone about our lives then later run into that person, we think they are the same as when we'd left. What does that say about how we view our own prayers?

    I have a situation in which I could continually keep bringing up the past deeds of someone, but it serves no good purpose in developing a relationship with that person today. Nor would my judgmental attitude help them change.

    You have some great thoughts here. thanks for sharing them. selahV

    By Anonymous selahV, at 4/22/2008 4:21 PM  

  • Good morning, Rose. Great points, I needed that reminder.

    By Blogger Dawn, at 4/23/2008 10:10 AM  

  • Jonathan,
    Thanks for stopping by. It is very nice to see you and your word of affirmation is appreciated. God bless.

    Antonio,
    I forgot to tell you that John is trying to accomplish what you just did re:36/34. Congratulations.

    Selah,
    How nice of you to drop in and give my lil post a read. I am glad that it was a blessing to you. The thoughts you added are good. You;re right - it is an odd irony.

    Dawn,
    I am glad that you got something out of this post. I need the reminder too, believe me.

    By Blogger Rose~, at 4/23/2008 11:05 AM  

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